Parenting from Birth to Kindergarten

When you send your son or daughter off on the bus on their first day of Kindergarten, their are a million thoughts going through your mind: "Is he or she ready?," "Did I do all I could do to prepare him or her to enter school?," "Is he/she going to fit in?". Using psychological concepts such as Piaget's Stages of Cognitive Development, Erikson's Theory of Psychosocial Development, and Kohlberg's Stages of Moral Reasoning, I have compiled a list of desirable characteristics for your child to have entering Kindergarten and how you as a parent can have an impact on developing such characteristics. This list should help create milestones for you and your child to push toward heading up to that first day off to Kindergarten. The list will also show normal behavior during these stages that may not be desirable to you as a parent but is developmentally common for children during this age.

Birth to 2 years

1. Reflexive behaviors- sucking, clinging, and crying
• Parents can observe behavior to make sure they are normal early on.
• For example: lack of eye contact early on and late speech development can be a sign of Autism
2. Simple learning tasks- recognizing people, grasping attractive objects
• Parents should work to push their child to do independent tasks gradually, such as feeding, grasping, and potty training. Use simple behavioral conditioning of reinforcements, because children are more responsive to conditioning during these years. Use punishments sparingly, but they must be controlled, consistent, and not physical.
3. Mental representation- form internal images of objects and events
• Parents should relate directly relate words with objects and events that a child could internally visualize in order to jump start the problem solving process.
• For example: When saying "ball," show the child a ball and what it can be used for and its function, so they will form a mental representation of the object.
4. Object Permanence- the knowledge that an object exists independently of one's own actions or awareness
• Parents should aim to show children as they age that when objects are out of sight they do not completely disappear. They can use techniques and games such as peek-a-boo to strengthen such awareness
5. Trust- Sense of Safety and Security
• Parents should be attentive to their child, hold them, care for them, and develop an overall trust. Without a basic sense of trust at this age, psychosocial development can be severely crippled.
6. Egocentric pleasure/pain/profit orientation- a moral representation based upon avoiding pain or avoid getting caught doing things perceived as wrong
• Parents should acknowledge wrongdoings and reward good deeds in order to start a development of moral reasoning.

2 year to 6 years(Kindergarten)

1. Basic problem solving
• Parents should work to allowing children to be more independent in solving simple problems, such as looking for lost objects. One could help develop this with games like hide and seek.
2. Sense of Self- seeing themselves a different from others
• Parents should work to acknowledge to children their differences and what makes them unique.
3. Deter Egocentrism- self-centered focus
• Parents should try to be honest but not debilitating with young children. They will be self-centered at a young age, because they do not have the cognitive development to understand other point of views. Be consistent in trying to show all points of view, differences, and values. Be sympathetic and caring, but progressive.
4. Try to nip "Animistic thinking" in the butt before Kindergarten
• It is very normal for children to have imaginary friends and give inanimate objects life; however, it is crucial to slowly acknowledge going into school the difference between living and nonliving things.
5. Correct centration and irreversibility
• Children at this age will have a narrow focus on their life and not be able to reverse situations easily and see beyond their perspective. This is very normal, but to strive to push beyond ordinary,  parents should explain the truth of the situation whenever possible.
• Centration: Sees the taller glass as containing more water- measure out the amount in both in front of your child
• Irreversibility: Child cannot see how the raisins on a plate is the same amount as those in a box- reverse the process to show the truth of the matter
6. Autonomy- capable of controlling one's body and making things happen
• Parents should aim to allow children to control their own actions and allow independence.
7. Initiative- confidence in one's self being able to create
• Parents should allow children to start doing many tasks on their own such as dressing themselves, making art projects, and making other choices. Although it can be hard to let go, parents must resist correcting children and be proud of them for doing independent tasks.
8. Cost/benefit Orientation- achieve/receive rewards or mutual benefits
• Children at this age will begin to use problem solving techniques to see the functions of rewards and punishments in moral reasoning. As a parent, again this is very normal for a child not to be able to see beyond a reward or benefit, but to push further you could try and reinforce the moral aspect of others feelings being involved in the situation.

Picture:  http://www.cityguideny.com/uploads/28711/first-day-of-kindergarten.jpg